Am I Wasting My Life Away

 Am I wasting my life away...

This is a daily thought of mine, to the point where it drains me both mentally and physically. I want to get to the route cause of it. 

A quote struck me the other day. "Comparison is the death of joy" words of the famous writer Mark Twain. As humans we are constantly in other peoples lives, who's doing what and where they are going, when was the last time you stood back and thought about yourself?

Twain was referring to feeling of escape we have when we are so deeply invested in others and what they do. I know because I've been there. After my boyfriend of 3 years broke it off with me, all i could do everyday is think about who he was with, where he was going? That when I took a step back, I realised that all I was doing was comparing myself to him, how he had so many friends and went out all the time and wasn't bothered about hooking up with other people. Then I thought why am I not like that, why should I care? 

This made me look at other aspects of my life that I compare myself in. like my new job and the people I surround myself with. Overall, when I get to the point of feeling like this I have to take that step back and remind myself that I am on a different path and that the things I want will come to me but they will take time and I have to be patient. Mainly because no one who has done well has done it comfortably and being in an uncomfortable position whether it be school, work or any other circumstances. You will force yourself to work harder to get out of that situation, to come out with good grades to leave school or to leave the job that you are stuck in. 

I definitely want to document this feeling further so stay tuned...