sesame syrup Pt1

 It wasn't supposed to end like this. Mascara smudged into the creases of my eyes, what's left of the crimson lipstick is painted across my chin and my breathing struggles to regulate itself. I think I lost him a few miles back but my senses are still alert to every rustle of the browning leaves as the trees try their best to hide me from the monster, that will stop at nothing to capture me. 

For I have the one possession he cannot live without. Running my hands over the dark, smooth leather, I inspect the notebook for the first time. If I don't read the contents written upon the off-white pages it will get too dark and I will never be able to escape. I take a deep breath that reaches the pit of my stomach, waking the butterflies. My jaw sets and I carry on further into the forest before me. 

Currently, I'm in the woods that are not far enough from his family home. The curls in my hair have fallen out and now strands have collected leaves and sticks given from the surrounding bushes, some of their thorns have dug into my legs disguising the existing marks he had created before. 

Staring at the nearing sunset, I reflect on the past few hours that lured me here...

                                                                              ***

Approaching, the house I've been in many times before, awakens a new feeling in me. Hunger. Greed. For the truth. 

It's a mission I won't fail. Even if I don't make it. Apprehensive, I rase my hand to the door to knock, only to find it was left open. He's been anticipating my arrival, I know he can already sense my presence here so I step in the barely lit hallway. 

Slowly the beast himself makes his way down the stairs. Deep booming sounds of his heavy feet echo in my ears as his face is made clearer through the sun rays from the small window in the door way. There's a prominent scar below his eye and I follow down his face to his perfectly drawn lips. I miss it. I can feel his icy piercing eyes on me as I stand there imaging the newly grown stubble scratching across my chest. I can't stop so I face the intimidating set of eyes undressing me.  

"Well hello again, Christopher." my trembling voice breaks the thick air. It's hard to show confidence when all I can think about is those strong hands on my waist the way they were last time we saw one another. Silence is the only reply I get, as I take off my brown boots and leave them by the burgundy door, his cats quickly pounce on them to inspect the familiar sent. 

"Upstairs" His deep voice commands. Willingly I follow. My view consists of his broad back, the muscles hidden underneath a silk black button up shirt and the long layers of his dirty brown hair flick up hiding his neck. Blocking my sight of where the stairs lead I take each step cautiously as it's hard to make out with the main light source being a few small flames from the various candles planted around. Pressure is all I feel in my heart, the thrill of being somewhere you shouldn't. Being with someone you should never see again. Deep down my body knows this is the last time. It has to be.